


Yes, No

by inkstrain (orphan_account)



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 02:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3511013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/inkstrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's never easy, wanting your best friend who happens to be a boy just like you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yes, No

They smell like cigarettes and half-removed makeup, the stink of cheap beer potent on their breaths and stuck on the clothes they haven't gotten around to removing just yet. Stumbling upon the barely-there futon bunched underneath their feet and falling on the floor in a twined heap of slurring limbs (growls of _that-fucking-hurts_ and _shit-get-off-me_ shaking the already tense air), Akira tries not to notice but he does anyway: how Kouyou doesn't look like a boy with the bedroom lights turned off, eyes smudged with liner and pursed lips the same shape they've always been.

This isn't the first time, of course. It would have been impossible not to notice, growing up together and all. His best friend's subtle femininity has always been something constant and _there_ , (almost but not quite) taunting Akira ever since he became old enough to realize the glaring difference between male and female and what _that_ dissimilarity entailed. It has never really been an issue, has never bothered him before either, _but tonight after their failure of a live and feeling so damn insecure and particularly vulnerable -_

"Shima..." 

He stops when Kouyou shifts underneath him, _closer instead of away_ , their eyes meeting in the dimness and making everything go _oh-so-still_. He receives a faint smile in return, the hands previously pushing at his chest moving to grasp at his shoulders in a comforting squeeze. 

"It's okay." 

And just by looking at him he seems to know, _or maybe he has always known_ , because Akira realizes that there isn't a shift in his expression (or tone, stance, heck - _anything_ ) that Kouyou can't read and understand at the same time. 

"It's not." He replies with a subtle shake of his head, blonde-black hair barely moving at the action what with the amount of hairspray it had to endure. But he dives in anyway, the taste of lipstick and alcohol distinct on their slow-moving mouths as he is met with no resistance. 

_And this, it's the only thing he has that's beautiful._

  


"Akira." 

Kouyou's whisper is breathless when they finally break away for air, the string of saliva hanging between them just another one of the many things that make their connection as strong as it is. Callused fingers sift through his dry tresses, Kouyou's smile still faint but hopeful when their gazes lock again.

"It's going to be okay someday."

And he knows that Kouyou's not just talking about the band, but also these scattered feelings he has about wanting another boy, still refusing to accept himself and pick up the pieces even after _this kiss_ -

He inhales sharply and shakes his head a second time, this time in mild exasperation, because even though his best friend is able to read him fairly well, he obviously _doesn't understand it all._

For the first time tonight, Akira smiles. 

Leaning forward and touching Kouyou's forehead with his, he exhales more than just a breath, closing his eyes with a contented curl to his lips.

  


"Only with you."


End file.
